Million Dollar Babies

When I walked into the local grocery store today scanning the magazine section to see which of my usual picks I hadn't already picked up, I couldn't help but to shake my head. I realized that the American people have a serious problem, a problem we need help with. And no, it's not the impending deficit and the horrible economy, but it's a serious problem along the psychological level.

America is obsessed with celebrities' babies.

Now, don't get me wrong. This is nothing new- people have always loved to see the little darlings that the celebrities we've watched and grown up with pop out. And I'll be the first to admit that I ooh'ed and ahh'ed at People Magazine's first photos of J.Lo and Marc Anthony's twins. But seeing today that the main headlines of every major magazine and even many newspapers are consumed by Jamie Lynn Spear's baby, the birth of Brad and Angelina's twins, and Mathew McConaughey's newborn, I realized the problem is getting increasingly worse.

The first place that people point their fingers at is the media. Now, on the one hand, of course some of the blame should be placed there. Halle Berry had every right to be outraged at paparazzi going to unnecessary lengths (taking pictures through trees of her, her mother and her daughter in her private backyard) to obtain the first pictures of baby Nahla. The actress even acknowledged the fact that she has to accept media attention as a public figure, but her daughter is not a public figure and she plans to do whatever she can to keep her out of the public eye.

So, of course, the paparazzi have once again gone too far and intruded on somebody's life on a level that was crossing the line. What people seem to forget, however, is that the blame cannot be entirely placed on the media. These magazines are businesses, and in order to stay afloat in an industry that is in crisis, they must write about and publish pictures of what is going to sell. So when People or OK! Magazines spend millions of dollars on the first pictures of Jane Doe's baby, it's not because they are malicious entities that want to expose and ruin the lives of celebrity children. It's because that's what the American people have proven they want to see and will spend money on.

Perhaps it's because the gas prices are so high that people don't even want to drive their cars anywhere so they choose to sit at home instead and gush over the adorable babies of the stars. Babies have a way of cheering people up, of making them smile- something people surely need when the economic state of their country is plummeting by the minute.

But when does it get out of control? When the pregnancy of a 16-year-old Disney channel star is glamorized? When paparazzi completely invade the privacy of a mother and grandmother who are trying to enjoy an afternoon in their own backyard? How about when the headlines go as far as to label the life of a 2-year-old who can barely speak as "lonely?"

So the clear diagnosis is that America does, in fact, have a serious problem. But the question that remains is how do we treat it? What can be prescribed to put on the covers to cure the obsession relieve these innocent children of the media frenzy? Obviously putting something of more depth on these covers is out of the question, because if the readers of US Weekly and OK! wanted to read something a little deeper, they'd be picking up Time or Newsweek instead.

So, the answer is WE NEED MORE SCANDAL! Bring on the A-Rod/Madonna love affairs so we can leave the $3 million dollar babies behind. Now that's a dignified read.